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Monday, May 4, 2009

Thou shall not judge...but damn if its not hard

Okay so let me start by saying Happy Monday and all that jazz even though I hate mondays with a passion and would much rather be in my bed next to this person right here.

Anywho back to the topic at hand, I'd like to think that i'm an open-minded person. I'm far from being a prude, don't too much care what other people have goin on or what they do in the privacy of their own homes because I can't stand someone nosing around all up in mine. But this weekend while bussin it on the sucky public transportation system out here in the boonies, I saw something that I turned my nose up at on sight. A stud got on the bus, lookin like she jus finished smokin & drinkin on god knows what type of below bottom shelf liquor (basement floor?), and that was ok cuz most of the people out here look like dammit all to hell anyway. So im use to it. But then her girlfriend (i guess) got on and it all went down hill from there. The girlfriend was just as high as the stud & had on about two inches of clothes (mind u it rained all wkend so her uncovered parts were unattractively ashy) and a pair of too small breakyoneck stilettos that no one really wears in real life unless you plan on swingin around a pole. (Not knockin the stripper community, im jus sayin) They got on, talkin all loud, gigglin and tee hee heein for no apparent reason, yellin across the bus at some boy who tagged along with them & slobbering all over each other as if they had no kinda home training. At this point im like Oh lawd, why do they have to represent US like that? Us being the black lesbian community. So my girl was in full agreeance & we exchanged more than a few looks about the trickery unraveling before us.

Later on that evening, I brought them up for some random reason, referring to them as "those two chicks on the bus" and my girl looked at me like I was talking outta my ass. Then she told me what i shoulda known in the 1st place i guess, the "fem" was a man. I pressed rewind on my mentals and took a closer look and I had to agree. Dont kno how it slipped past me, but it did. My nose turned up even more after that, and i got that "somebody farted" look on my face, u know what im talkin about. The boo boo face. Something just doesnt sit well with me about that. Now i dont know these people from a can of paint, but im willing to bet the stud identifies as a lesbian. And to that i'm a bit befuddled. If you're a female, dating a man who dresses like a female, does this make you a lesbian? And now, Glennisha's post over on Tami's blog has me thinkin that maybe i'm in the wrong for questioning whether or not someone is really a lesbian? But come on now. Im sorry, when 2 +2 doesn't equal 4....

What do y'all think?

9 comments:

Alix said...

I think that's the same question people ask if you're dating a pre-op ftm.

I don't think it's as simple as gay, straight or whatever. There are so many different aspects to our sexuality, especially being that it's all fluid.

If it's love, I don't think it matters.

Chanel said...

Alix, this is true. If its love, then why does it matter at all? I just wonder then if maybe there really should be no labels whatsoever at all. Because if my definiton of a lesbian is a woman who loves women, some things dont fall into that category. So should we just get rid of them all?

glennishamorgan said...

IDK about this one. I'd just say you'd fall some where under the rainbow...

Chanel said...

Lol Glennisha. Ok, now i can get with that one.

Little Miss Knobody said...

I know a lot of transexual men who are attracted to studs...aggressives...or whatever you wanna call them and vice versa. The way that I understand it is: they are attracted to the physical appearance of one's sex regardless of gender.

For example: A stud (most of the time) takes on the appearance of a man. They can exhibit the same qualites...thus making a transexual man (MTF) attracted to them based on their likeness of a man.

I say to each his/her own. Whatever floats your boat. We're all under the rainbow

whatilike said...

MTF's, transWOMEN (transmen are FTM, btw) are just that women if they view themselves as such. So if you are a woman attracted to a transwoman then you can call yourself a lesbian if you want. Who's gonna take that away, the lesbian card police? WTF? Gender is so much more than what is or isn't between your legs, people need to get off of that mentality.

Chanel said...

lmao @ the lesbian card police. Thats deep. Point well taken whatilike.
It is difficult to step off my I AM "a real" WOMAN soapbox and say that being a woman is not gender-specific and that gender-specific is not linked to being born with a penis or a vagina. Unfortunately, this mindset does lead to close-mindedness & i'm not too fond of that trait. *sigh* What to do what to do. lol.

knowledge said...

All that matters is how they see themselves.

As for Websters, if they're women loving women, they're lesbians.

breastswildasblkwaves said...

Co-sign on what everyone else said lol. If he (or she) identified as a woman, I wouldn't have any issues with them referring to themselves as lesbians. I don't feel we have the right to take away anyone's self-identification label.