~Lovely lil Disclaimer~

Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Friday, March 27, 2009

That's so GAY

Two young girls are complaining about the tragedy of their 16 year old lives. One of them goes on and on about how her mother won't let her leave the house "just because I didnt come home last weekend and forgot to call her. I mean damn it's not like I wasn't with someone I didn't know. Now she's on my ass for every little thing. That's so gay."

Question: When and why did "gay" become interchangeable with "that sucks" or "that's lame" or "you look like a dumbass" ?

It doesn't make much sense to me. Goes to show how much negativity is attached to being gay. As if we needed anything else to point that out.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Bisexual now, gay later?

According to Kinsey, sexuality is a very fluid scale that can variate at any given time during one's life. According to him, very few people are strictly hetero, or strictly homo. We're all a lil bit of this and a lil bit of that depending on the season, time of day and type of liquor. (ha)

So i'm wondering if i'm a poster child for the Kinsey scale.
As a child I was a child. Not really sure what anything was or wasn't, but I was awfully curious about both girls and boys. As a teenager I was into guys outwardly, and into girls inwardly but I didnt claim to be bi or anything. (Who did that in jr high?) As a young adult I began to question how straight I really was while I was thoroughly enjoying my experimentation with women. When I decided to finally drop the straight-mask, I immediately opted for bisexuality instead of claiming to be a lesbian. For some reason, it just sounded better. And maybe, at that time in life, I was bi I guess. But I knew something was wrong. And now as a grown, fully independent woman, I am a lesbian. Don't do men at all and don't ever plan on doing them again. The term bisexual no longer appeals to me in the slightest and now, I don't see how it ever appealed to me at all. But hey, it was what it was.
So how's that for a sliding scale? Is that a typical experience? Did any of you start the trip towards figuring out your sexuality, but detoured at a bisexual rest stop for a minute, before continuing towards gaydom? What about going backwards? From fully gay, back to bi? (Is this even believable?)

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Gay Agenda: Have you gotten your copy?

Seriously, I heard they were bulk-mailed last weekend. I’ve had my copy on reserve since early 2006.


For those of you whose eyes lit up, giddily screaming “I knew it wasn’t a myth!”, calm down. Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, it’s just a myth. The Gay Agenda is nothing but an elaborate concept contrived from the deluded mind of a bored heterosexual. The Gay Agenda has been toted for years as a scheming “How To” book, filled with top-secret plans on how we, the LGBT community, are going to wipe out heterosexual society as we know it, one straight person at a time. (Google Anita Bryant to see how all the nonsense began)

In recent years, it has all sort of morphed into a comical concept. At least for me it has. Maybe it’s the sheer idea of what a Gay Agenda would look like if there really was one. Who would write it? What would it entail? Here are just a few of my ideas:

1. By now, the Gay Agenda would be solely available as an E-book. No more hard copies in print. The authorized E-book could only be purchased on one website that you would need an access code to, given only after a thorough background check and interview with a local G.A.F. ( Gay Agenda Facilitator)
2. There would be a G.A. panel of twelve members. 6 high profile gays & lesbians and 6 working class citizens. The panel approves and/or tosses all of the submitted entries for the Agenda.
3. The Agenda itself would be written by WE the people. (Gotta make this a democratic process), but all items are subject to approval.
4. The G.A would be about 25-30 pages long, depending on the social climate. If the year has been fairly productive and progressive for the LGBT community, the Agenda might be shortened in length. If it’s an election year, expect the Agenda to be no less than 100 pages.
5. Every 4 years, a big gay caucus would be held where all registered gays and lesbians meet, greet and revise the Agenda. Rainbow attire is strongly suggested but not necessary, for those who just aren’t feeling it.

And last but not least

6. Panel members would recruit a highly skilled band of straight allies to help us find the expertly hidden Straight Agenda. The way heterosexuals have monopolized society as we know it, there has to be one. And we want it. Now!

Now do you see why I laugh at the thought? The whole idea is ridiculous and unrealistic. How can a community of such diverse and opinionated people manage to create one agenda that we all agree on and swear to. It’s not gonna happen. Wouldn’t it be great if those pressing the issue would move on so we could all live life happily and peacefully? How’s that for an agenda?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Befriend those we can't f*ck?

Couple of questions I wanna toss out:

While you're in a relationship, how well do you trust yourself in a strictly platonic friendship with someone you are attracted to?
NOW, after all the BS i've been thru and put my gf thru, I trust myself pretty damn well. There were times I know I would've F'd it all up and lost the best thing to happen to me but now, don't even worry about it.

Is it realistic to think that you wont be tempted to take it there?
Temptation is a given. It happens to everyone and it wont go away unless you're deaf, dumb, blind and have no hands. But just cuz you're tempted to taste forbidden fruit doesn't mean u have to bite it cuz chances are you're gonna choke on it anyway. So back up.

Is it possible for sexual attraction to merely go away?
Now this one i'm not so sure of. I mean, yeah over time your attraction for someone can definitely fade for one reason or another. But if you're just really feelin someone and you're constantly around them or talking to them, that sexual tension is not just gonna disappear. Come on now. It takes time, and conscious work until it becomes effortless. And when that happens, you're good. But if u still gotta MAKE yourself stop flirting with someone, or force yourself to not think certain thoughts...you're in danger. And u probably know it.

Can [attractive] femmes and studs be friends and nothing ever happen?
Yes. I dont think all attractive people have to fuck each other. If im cute, and you're cute and we are cool, it doesn't mean anything is gonna happen. Especially not if im already with someone. But now, if i'm single and cute, and you're single & cute...mmm.

Can't wait for the responses. Honesty is the best policy.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Femmes vs. Studs

Okay so I came up with this idea from a response I got on my last post. That's why I love when my readers comment because it keeps the cycle of ideas flowing.

Anyway, so some lesbians don't buy into the whole label thing. I buy into it all day long. I'm a very visually descriptive person, so by nature I tend to categorize people by physicalities, characteristics, style of dress, mannerisms, persona and consistency. (Trust me. Consistency is important.) So the whole stud, femme, stem, aggressive, dom thing works well for me. But that's not the point of this post.

The point is that when I first began to immerse myself in the lifestyle, I was fairly oblivious to what a stud was. I had heard of it in high school, but I wasn't turned on by the thought of a female dressing like a guy. That's all I assumed it added up to. A woman who wants to be a man. So I kinda shyed away from studs and marked them as territory I didn't necesarily feel comfortable with. (my own igonrance, i know) Then slowly but surely, I began meeting studs after I moved to Atlanta and actually took the time to stop being retarded and got to know a few. I picked up on the stud-swag and had to admit it was kinda cute. Up until then, I really wasn't all that attracted to studs. Give me a sexy feminine woman with thick thighs & hips ANY day and i'd be happy ALL day.

Uh...I don't know what happened.

It's like studs started doing some wierd jedi mind warp thing on me and I began noticing them like crazy. I dated my first stud in 2004 and haven't looked back since. lol. Now, I still find other femmes to be beautiful and we can be beneficial friends but I don't think I could go back to dating femmes. Ever. There's just something about the stud/femme dynamic in a relationship that just works for me. Don't ask me what it is cuz i don't know how to explain it but some of y'all get me....right? So do u have a preference or does it really matter at all?

Love of my life

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Turning straight women out

I've always been fascinated with this. Like how straight were you to begin with if all it took was a wink, a lick of the lips, two strong drinks and some game to get you in a compromising position with someone of the same sex? I know they say [whoever they is] that everyone is merely a split decision away from being at least bisexual. But I don't know how much I truly believe that one. It's hard for me to imagine my grandmother ever EVER even contemplating...uggh.. Never mind. Scratch that analogy. You get my drift.

So if being gay is not a choice, which I don't believe it is. What do u call it when a woman who has been straight her entire life decides to cross over? Natural curiosity? What really confuses me are women who swear up and down they had never had a thought about someone of the same sex and then one day just woke up and BAM, they're gay. Like Hmmm...(digging around in a drawer)I think i'll wear my gayness this month. I don't get it. Can it be something that just occurs over night, like having a lightbulb moment?

For me, sexuality is such a multi-dimensional phenomenon, I would think it had to be something set in place for years on end, even if it takes awhile to figure yourself out. So what to make of straight people who one day get the urge to see if the grass is really wetter, i mean greener :-)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dear ilene Chaiken (creator of the L Word)

Dear Ilene,

5 days have passed since I was forced to say adieu to the L Word. Upon the closing credits, I knew I would have something to say. I was just too pissed and bewildered to say it the next day after. Or two days after. Or even four days after for that matter. But I feel as if I am now ready to break my hostile silence and let you know how I feel about you. Not necessarily at this very moment, but definitely how I felt about you on last Sunday.


That had to be just about the the dumbest, most open ended, least satisfying, tv for dummies series finale ever. And I am beyond offended.

I just don't understand. I already felt as if the L Word seasons were ridiculously short and crammed with too much to unfold over 10-12 weeks of one hour shows. So strike one was the fact that the last season was only 8 weeks long. Strike two was the fact that new storyline after storyline was introduced to us faithful followers when you knew damn well you only had 8,7,6,5,4, (count em down) shows to go. Strike three was the entire last show, period. From A to Z it was a huge disappointment.

Do you realize how many loose ends were left dangling in the wind? Let me make you aware.

Does Tina ever find out about Jenny's lil iphone clip of Bette supposedly going down on Kelly?
Do Bette and Tina make it out to NY? Do they get another baby?
Do Tasha and Alice keep it together? And where in the hell was Tasha all day when Alice was waiting for her to call anyway?
Does Max decide to raise his own baby?
Is Dylan really to be trusted?
Do Kit and Sunshyne Blvd (aka Sonny) live happily ever after?
Does Shane change at all at any point over the past 6 yrs?

And these aren't even all of the questions. Just the ones I feel the most animosity about. I mean really, Ilene. You built the entire seaason around who killed Jenny...and then you didn't even answer that! It just irks me how a show typically well-written, superbly acted, and with intricate story lines could end with almost no resolution at all. It just made no sense and it seemed to be a waste of the past 6 years of my life that I will never get back. Oh well. That's Hollywood for ya, right?

Just know that I expected more from you and you horribly failed to deliver.

Sincerely NOT over it,

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Prop 8 gay marriage ban is for the nosy people with no lives

The passing of Proposition 8 has made it very clear that what goes on in my bedroom is far more important than what anyone could imagine. People are more interested in who I am sleeping with than what my contributions to society are. The gender of my partner is more a point of interest than the fact that I work eight hours a day, go to school, and pay taxes, yet I am not worthy enough to get married. Prop 8 gives prying, judgmental and hipocritical eyes the power to dictate my actions when it comes to the matters of my heart and, less we forget the financial advantages of legal marriage, my wallet.

Today, California Supreme Court will flex its own power by analyzing the legitimacy, scope and constitutionality of Prop 8. Those of us who would rather not obnoxiously snoop around in the private affairs of law abiding adults, will hope and pray for a fair, decent and common sense approach to this amendment. I can only hope that the supporters of such an invasive law will one day recognize the foul stench of discrimination and choose to wash their hands of it.
What goes on in my bedroom, is my business. Start minding your own.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My current problem with lesbian literature

As i'm finding more and more lesbian novels to read, i'm also being reminded as to why I was never truly captivated with the gay book scene in the first place. I did have an enjoyable experience reading Rita Mae Brown's Rubyfruit Jungle, so kudos to her. Since then i've moved on to a new lesbian themed book and i'm searching for a reason to finish it. Like really looking hard.

My problem with current les-lit is that a lot of it is too watered down for my tastes. I need substance, and depth. I need more than street talk and relatively lame strap-on sex scenes. I need multi-dimensional characters who can deliver more than corny lines and dyke drama. (oh my god did i just say dyke!!!?) I just need SOMETHING. All of this add water and stir "literature" is not the business.

i know, i know. Why don't I stop complaining and write my own damn book?

I'm workin on that.

As of now, i'm still searching for these 50 so-called must read lesbian/gay books. I've found maybe two. Anyone have any suggestions for me? And if u suggest something i've already read or am currently reading that falls into the category of LLL (lame lesbian lit) I'm gonna call you out on it. lol.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Fab Six (aka the finest women in Hollywood)

SO I see everyone else has their 5 hottest women list posted, so I'm gonna go ahead and jump on this band wagon cuz I have nothing else better to blog about. But I have to add one more cuz I couldn't find it within my heart to leave either of these women out.

In no important order:

Sanaa Lathan epitomizes effortless beauty. And the fact that she's so low key just gives her an extra dose of sex appeal.

Halle could be spread eagle butt booty ass nekkid and still have an air of class about her that few women posess. And the best thing about her is that the older she gets, the sexier she gets. She needs to bottle her formula and sell that shit.

Love Alicia Keys. Anyone who can make playing the piano the sexiest thing ever has got to be one bad ass woman. And she's such a sweet heart.

So Perez Hilton's gay self said that Ciara has this thing about her that makes you wanna lick the tv screen whenever her videos come on. lmao. I'm not sure about all that but I get what he's saying. The way she dances, the faces she makes, her swag, it's all on point.

Ms. Angelina Jolie. Yes maam. But do you see that tat on her arm? She was at her sexiest right around the time she was with Billy Bob. That's when she was in her dont give a fuck mood, with the jet black hair and badass attitude. She always had that look in her eye like she was two minutes away from pouncing on her prey. Gotta love that. She's still a beautiful woman but she has this whole glazed over stepford wife thing going on now that I can't quite put my finger on. I guess 12 kids will do that to ya. I want raunchy, openly bisexual, rude, naughty, freaky potty mouth, borderline goth Angie back!!!

This girl is so fine I had to give her two pics. A face shot and a full body. Tocarra Jones is like the Pam Grier of the new millenium. And her latest Italia Vogue spread is beautiful beyond words.

My honorable mentions:

Eva Mendes

Salma Hayek

Charlize Theron

Lauren London


Lisa Raye

Scarlett Johannson (She's a newbie for me. I just started payin attention to her. She's kinda hot)

And there you have it.

Monday, March 2, 2009

L word withdrawls- it's already starting :-(

I don't think anyone realizes how much I am going to miss this show. Maybe some of you do. Those who were happy as hell the first time you saw a preview for the show, 2 months before the first episode aired. I was like lesbians? LA? Jennifer Beals? Oooooo. lol. And I've been hooked ever since.

And now it's leaving!!! :-( This sucks so bad..

I've had my problems with the show. When they killed off Dana I swear I was ready to quit it. I didn't care too much for Papi. When they had Shane fuck over Carm like that...y'all just dont know how pissed I was. (I'm prayin she makes a surprise cameo in the last show to come back and beat Shane's ass one good time) Kit's character hasn't had a decent story line since Angus cheated on her with the babysitter. (How lame was that?) And Jenny? I wont even go there. So yeah, there have been some slip ups. But along the way, these ladies have become an intricate part of my Sunday nights, and to quote Tasha, I'm not ready to let you go yet, L Word!!

Speaking of last night's show. Lord. Really quick commentary. Im happy Jenny busted Shane and Nikki out and now maybe Shane will stop acting like a 14 yr old horny boy and start making some grown woman decisions. She hasn't changed a bit since the 1st season. Disappointing. Bette was also a diappointment last night and she's also the recipient of the biggest retard award. As soon as Jenny came at her with "you didn't tell Tina about how you had sex with Kelly this weekend?" Bette should have drug Jenny's ass over to Tina so Jenny could say what she had to say and so Bette could set the record straight. All of this hush hush behavior is making her look guiltier than O.J. I swear, for such an educated, professional woman, she can be positively stupid. Kit...lmao. I'm just happy she knows that Sunset Blvd is actually Sonny Benson and now she can get some ass. Her reaction to him telling her he was straight and wanted to be with her was classic. Gotta love Pam Grier.

And last but not least, Alice and Tashal Words can not express how upset I am at Tasha. Alice has been done wrong every single season!!! And she's like the most loyal, most genuine, most sane person out of the group. She can't get a break! I dont understand the appeal of whatever the chick's name is who Tasha is allowing to come in between her and Alice. But I know it happens. I'm just sad. They're so cute together and I think they're good for each other. I'm not a believer in the whole two people who are different as day & night can't be in a lasting relationship. First of all, I've been in one for four yrs. Woo hoo! lol. And I think being too much alike poses more problems than bringing differences to the table. *sigh* Oh well. Maybe T will come to her senses and see that Alice is a good woman. Maybe they both need to have sex with this chick (3some anyone?) and move on.

Best moment of the entire season: Alice, Tasha and the other chick's hip hop dance. They rocked the asymmetrical multi-colored wigs, the bamboo earrings and the shiny spandex pants. I died. And I will be youtubing that scene so I can watch it over and over and over again. Tibette's performance was kinda sexy too :-)

Okay so yeah. Last nigh'ts ep was pretty good. Can't wait for next Sunday, But i'm dreading it at the same time. ALl I know is that there better be a feature film in progress. If Noah's Arc and Sex and the City can get one, TLW should have one too. Don't play.

Who Killed Jenny Prediction: I'm sticking with either Bette or Alice. Both have good motives. Especially Bette. Hers might be a little too obvious though so that's why im also leaning towards Alice. She hasn't liked Jenny for a minute now and I can see the contempt whenever she's around. We'll see if i'm right!! Predictions anyone???