There were about 1,000,000 people crowded into downtown SF this year. 1,000,000 85% naked, sweaty, chemically altered men and women all bunched together in a 2 mile radius.Sounds like a buffet of random hook-ups and sunrise regrets (or not). But I wasn't scoping out the singles at all. I paid more attention to the couples. The women hugged up, holding hands, making out, flirting, proudly displaying their love by wearing matching "I'm With Her...and she LOVES it" shirts. I was more interested in the couples who appeared to be deeply in love. Thanks to a certain someone who shall remain nameless until I decide to implicate her, I've been thinking a lot about love lately.
Wondering how love functions, what are its various definitions, parameters stipulations, boxes...limits? I've come to the conclusion that it's all a hot fucking mess. Real talk. It is. I don't mean to Debbie Down your love parades but JESUS. It's like....Love is Love. I get it. Shouldn't be too complicated. Just LOVE and BREATHE and BE. But when love involves other people (and it usually does)...shit automatically turns complicated.
Take for instance, the differences between being IN love and loving someone deeply. Me being me, I never really pondered much on this. It just is what it is. If you're my partner, and we are in a loving & intimate relationship, then being IN love, and the many acts that fall under the umbrella of being IN love are solely reserved for you. And I'll say things like "Babe, I'm so in love with you." blah blah blah. If you are one of my close friends and/or family, then I profess deep love for you and try to act on that love in the ways I feel comfortable and secure with.. That seems nice, simple and the way it's supposed to be.
Then I moved to Berkeley and met hella people who maintain poly relationships, and I began interacting closely with people who hold no barriers and boundaries on love no matter what labels are assigned....and now my mind is sufficiently blown. So...you're telling me that I can fall in love with my partner AND my friends...and that's okay?? And no one will become jealous?And there wont be any problems between my girl and I? And it wont destroy my friendships?? And being IN love with someone who is not my partner is truly acceptable?? And in many cases, falling IN love with friends is actually the norm??
Where the hell have I been?
Cuz I'm so far outta THAT loop.
I find it all fascinating. If not a bit much for me to take in. I guess I'm more of a traditionalist than what I ever knew and I'm okay with feeling like that's not such a bad thing. Love is love, no matter which way you flip it. And for those who are open to falling in love with their friends, I support you and I want you to be happy! But I feel the most secure with my traditional parameters of reserving the act of 'falling in love' solely with someone I would like to build a level of intimacy and connection with that goes beyond the platonic realm of friendship. And I would hope that does not make me a horrible friend/person.