~Lovely lil Disclaimer~

Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I tried to tap into my straight "side" yesterday...

I was thinking about myself yesterday. I mean, I think to myself all the time (duh), but I was actually thinking about myself and my history as far as relationships go. I've exclusively dated women for the past six years. Before that, there were a few guys on the radar. But after 2003, it's like they dropped off the face of my world. lol. No offense to men but y'all became lightweight irrelevant to me.

Sometimes it boggles my mind how things work, especially when it comes to sexuality. I'm the first to say that sexuality is fluid and complicated, but once you've figured yourself out and you're secure in it, it shouldn't be complex at all to you. (Maybe to everyone else but who cares?) So yeah, yesterday I got to thinking about how smoothly I made that switch over to being comfortable and happy dating & being sexually active with women only. I haven't had any withdrawl smptoms, any cravings or flashbacks, no shoulda coulda wouldas, nothing. And Im so happy about that. That's why im an advocate of trying it all out early on to see what suits you best. Because once you find it, you'll know and you won't have to deal with being flip floppy. (y'all know how I feel about fickle sometimey any way the wind blow lesbians)

But just for the hell of it, yesterday while I was out & about, I took notice of this guy. He was cute. Very cute actually. Chanel via 2000 woulda been delighted with him. lol. Now, I'm happily wifed up (Hi Baby!!:-) so I didnt wanna make anything obvious to him that I was tryin to check him out because I didn't wanna have to burst his bubble and tell him I was taken. So I was trying to be discrete. He had a great physique. Tall, toned, well dressed. He was attractive. I wanted to see if I could feel NOW what I felt yrs ago for the opposite sex.

You know how it is when you see someone physically attractive who really catches your attention...a light tingle runs down your spine all of a sudden, makes you take notice like mmmm. Your eyes tattle-tell on you as they roam to whichever places on the body or face that fascinate you the most. That slight smile teases across your lips as your mind begins to wander, tip toeing that fine line of lust...

Y'all know what i'm talking about.

Yeah um, it didn't happen for me yesterday. At all. lol. I saw him, noted that he was cute, tried to see if i felt anything extra and...nada. It's honestly just not there. No spark or kismet whatsoever for men anymore. Its kinda trippy! Like how does that happen? Did a part of my brain shut down? Or maybe a part of my soul woke up....

I don't know. It's just different with women. So different. And men...yeah you guys are still pretty much irrelevant to me. Sorry!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Twitter me!

Ok so this isn't necessarily gay news but I'm like the last person on earth to get a Twitter and i'm all excited about it. [I can follow Oprah & Ellen!! :-) ] My Twitter name is PoetryIsBliss. Tweet me!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Do you take offense when someone asks if you're gay?

Last night I found my topic with a little help from College Hill on BET.
Sidebar- The College Hill cast is a hot ass mess and BET has got to do better. lol. Are there no black college students available who have some comon sense and tact? Not from the looks of things...

Anywho, so yeah. Of course there's a token gay person on the show, Kyle. And there's also a bi woman, Allison. On the first day of the show, Kyle and Milan (straight chick) met up with each other before meeting with everyone else. Milan asked Kyle if he was gay like within the 1st 3 mins of their convo. Honestly she didn't have to ask. I hate to sound stereotypical but Kyle is about as gay as gay can get. Fingersnaps, head rolls and then some. But I guess Milan didn't want to be presumptuous so she asked. Kyle gasped and cut his eyes at her and denied it. (I was about to cut the tv off over such blatant lies & trickery) But then he laughed and said yes he's gayer than gay (as I mentioned) Fine. All was well. Or so i thought. Once all the roomies met up with each other, Milan decides to jump right on in and opened the conversation with "Sooo who's gay, who's straight?" Allison says "I'm Bi." No biggie. Everyone else is like I'm straight. Kyle kyle kyle. He proceeds to blow up and snatch Milan's head off her shoulders for asking the question. He felt as if she were trying to out him on purpose with some sort of malice. When I say he went off, I mean he went OFF. "Did i ask if you were a man, bitch? Why you got all that make up on your face? Are your eyelashes fake? Is that yo hair?!" Blah blah blah.

Now I just wanna know if his response was warranted? I don't think it was. Yeah, Milan's question was random and should have been saved maybe for another time, and maybe she did have bad intentions. But me being me, I probably would have asked who was gay as well just because im nosey as hell and would want to know who I can identify with in one way or another! Allison didnt have a problem with it at all. She said she was bi and moved right along. No drama. But Kyle is a drama queen to the 10th power and I really believe that he just wanted some attention and wanted to show off his acting skills to set the tone for the rest of the season. How would you react if someone asked who was gay or straight? Do you get all beside yourself if someone poses the question to you?

Monday, April 27, 2009

When the sex flies out the window....

So we all know how it is in the beginning of new relationships. Everything is lovey dovey and filled with kisses and tickles and giggles and goo goo eyes, topped off with LOTS of mind blowing spine tingling sex. It's all fresh and new and exciting and you just cant get enough so you go at each other like porn stars. Its great :-)

Fastforward a few yrs into the relationship. Lights on, cameras off, the dust has settled and the real world has crept in. SOME couples are good at keeping the sex new and energized. Others...not so much. So what is going on? I never really believed in the whole Lesbian Bed Death concept. The rule that says women in lesbian relationships tend to have less sex than hetero couples because women naturally have lower sex drives and eventually, the sex dies completely. Now I dont know about any of you but i'll never last long in a relationship where the sex is dead. So what do you do to keep it flowin properly?

Many couples attribute a lack of sex to one or more of the following:
-no chemistry
-poor communication
-no attraction
-someone is cheating

None of the above are good for relationships. I see why the sex would die in these conditions. But what if it really is NONE of the above? What happens to that exciting sex life in the begining? Is it nature? Or is it something that can be worked on and revived?

Friday, April 24, 2009

For the love of lesbian poetry...

Staceyann Chin. Im not even gonna get into how deep she is. I remember her from old school Def Jam Poetry episodes on HBO and the image of her effortless delivery of her fiery flow, topped with that thick afro cascading down shoulders always poised and ready to spit yet another line of poetry to throw you back on your ass....yes. Ms Staceyann Chin is the bizness and this is one of her poems that i'm a huge fan of. (Please notice my comments in pink parenthesis. Sorry I jus couldnt help myself.)

Common Truths or Why I Love Pussy (Holla!)
Itching fingers make for poignant laughter feet dangling miles above where we began
years ago I told her that this too shall pass and she remembers
even now she kicks intermittent heels swinging rhythmic as if feet were made for hanging off of high places
women have always been the center of things beautiful for me becoming woman has always been the center of my girlhood
the sum of my thighs ankles even my shoulders were always girl
when I bled for the first time I told only my best friend
wrapped my secret in her ear and assured her that this blood meant we could make babies
being girl and vulnerable meant I had to run faster than itchy fingers farther than sweaty palms reaching for my hands my tiny breasts had to be brave against the full fling of his fury when I refused
when I stabbed him pencil point sliding swift into his flesh the whole house stirred and slipped silly into a frenzy and I was proud of my pencilpoint sharp and without fear
my aunt beat me anyway and I cried more out of loneliness than anything
one cousin’s name still remains quiet upon my tongue
I think of him when I am sad or angry or afraid of things that do not make noises in the dark
the other one stark raving mad
showed me his dick told me I smelled like a woman in my little girl’s body hips barely budding he cornered me
in the hallway the bathroom
when I bled
I washed quick and quiet in secret I became a cradle for civilization
no body not woman can claim that privilege
magic Rachel says magic
we can stir our hips and dip them in footprints of blood
mark the path of a nation a world a universe of possible peoples charting a familiar course
I am a girl become woman now
no queries necessary under my skirt my jeans cargo pants panties boxers
under my briefs rests my pussy my twat my cunt bleeds
once a month I am reminded that though the traffic from my womb has been slow
though I have not yet given birth
I can
my body can do something no boy or man or not-woman can
do it! I dare you to make people without a vagina
Buddha or Man or Beast
Even Jesus had to pass through a punani (LoLLL)
angels and messengers aside
Mary had to lend passage to God or them Christians might still be Jews
waiting for a Christ that was stuck up the ass of some man who though he could do what little girls do everywhere against their wishes
they carry sons and fathers and cousins who envy their vagina
their breasts their ability to make breath from passion or the neat decision of an intent
one day my own body will semaphore
petals will bloom little girls called Olivia
and Andrea and Elisha and Racquel
mouths will open wide in wonder and terror
at the beauty the magic of what girls do everyday women carry people into places of being
everyday I am grateful I was born
bloody snatch in just the right place
yesterday my mother told me to write my story
no matter that I write her in unflattering truths
write she told me
I hope it sells so you can have a child with a heart like yours
beating fair and kind
and everything was better
it did not matter that she left me twice
no matter that me being girl meant that she could not be safe as woman
in Jamaica 1972 yesterday
she said
write and the world righted itself and I wished that every girl whose mother left
would give her permission
unnecessary but grand
to say what happened
to her flesh and fury
to write how she survivedthe splendor of being a small girl
in a big world that so deeply favors men
I wish every girl
had a room of her own a room with a splendid view a room from which she could be safe from the terror of these brutal but common truths....

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Here goes the whole being gay v. being black thing again

So if she stood up there and said "Black people shouldn't be allowed to marry" you'd have written the same article
defending her?

The above is a comment posted on CNN commenter Roland Martin's article about Ms. California's anti gay marriage answer at the Miss Usa competition. Roland addresses how people are funny actin and claim that we all want someone to "keep it real and honest" but when Ms. California gave her honest opinion she "gets attacked at every angle for it." Roland proceeds to call Perez Hilton a "drama queen posing as a wannabe journalist who ratchets up unimportant material for publicity."


Okay. So now I kinda agree with the whole funny actin people part. Our society is filled with flip-floppy, fickle, hypocritical, gullible people. We claim to want one thing, but can't handle it when we get it. We stand up against one injustice, but feed into others. It's sad but I get it. BUT there's a huge difference in wanting full honesty from a person and not agreeing with the underlying message beneath that honesty. I applaud Ms. California for having the balls to represent a state filled with the most gay people per square inch and still give the answer that she gave. Kudos to YOU Ms. CA cuz honey trust and believe that WE (pointing to all the gay cali folk and straight allies) are evil-eyein you like crazy rite now & i know it makes you uncomfie. So yea, claps & whistles for being brave & honest. But that doesn't stop me from despising her take on the issue.

Now relating it back to that comment in red up above, i really really wish people wouldn't even go there. Roland Martin is a seemingly straight black man in America. Being gay is not an attribute of his. He has never been persecuted for it. He has never struggled with it. This doesn't mean he hates gay people. It does mean that he identifies with being black and does not identify with being gay. Duh. They are two entirely different things. One is sexuality, the other is race. One some people believe is a choice (ridiculous as it sounds), the other is obviously not a choice and can not be dodged or covered up unless you have the $$$ for bleaching treatments. (I don't reccommend) Black people have fought through loads of crap for hundreds of years and will continue to fight through loads of crap for hundreds of years. (No, President Obama & Michelle can't fix it all no matter how much I love them.) Gay people have fought through our own brand of crap for hundreds of yrs and it shows no sign of stopping. It may not be as heavily documented, as easily accessible, or on such a mass level as the degradation of an entire race BUT there's no denying that gay rights have been severely stifled. So each group of people (blacks, gays and Lord help those of us who are black AND gay) has the right to feel angry and passionate about our own causes. So why do some feel the need to mix and mingle them? They have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Im a young, black, liberal lesbian and I believe in many causes across the board. They all mean something to me, they're all worth a fight and all the problems that come along with being young, black, liberal and a lesbian piss me off. I will not push one down for the other. I will not tolerate being persecuted for being gay while fighting against racism. I wont say that the black struggle is the same as the gay struggle. Each one holds its own weight and importance on a social and a personal level and I will give both issues the respect they deserve. Why can't others do the same? What are your thoughts?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Perez Hilton v. Killa Cali

Ms. California is working my last nerve. Strike one is the fact that she's blonde and blue eyed. Like seriously, she does NOT represent cali well at all. Not everyone here looks like Malibu Barbie. We use to be a part of Mexico dammit! They couldn't find someone with some color and some curves? [sigh]

But then she went and pissed off Perez & most other lgbt family & supporters by saying she favors "opposite marriage because it's how I was raised. I'm sorry, it's just what I believe."

So what. Do u want a f*ckin cookie?

Sorry, I know it's a free country and we have the right to believe and not believe whatever we want but y'all know this burns me up. And then she had the nerve to say that she feels sorry for Perez and that she's praying for him. [side eye] She better be happy I wasn't at that Ms USA pageant cuz I woulda chucked my shoe right at her forehead.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

LGBT stereotypes that should die a slow death

Our society thrives off stereotypes. When one person does something, we tend to believe that one single person represents everyone who may look, act or sound remotely like him/her. It's called over-generalizing and it's rude. But hey, what can we do besides not buy into the stereotypes ourselves and try hard to shatter the walls. Here a few that piss me off:

* All lesbians hate men. Really? Well that's funny seeing as how my father is a man and I love him to death and back. I have no problems with men in general as long as they respect the fact that I want nothing to do with them intimately.

* Fems aren't really lesbians & all we need is some good d*ck in our lives. Yawn. Had some before. You see where I am now. Enough said.

*All studs want to be men. Now there are some masculine identified women who completely rebuke the idea of their womanhood. But not all studs are this extreme. My gf is a stud and loves being a WOMAN who loves WOMEN.

*Lesbian relationships never last long enough to mean anything. I'm working on 5 yrs and it means the world to me. My longest relationship EVER, so that stereotype is dispelled.

*Just because i'm a lesbian means I want YOU. Chances are I don't. I'm not attracted to ALL women. Far from it. Im choosy and just because i like women in general doesn't mean I want to turn every single woman in the world out.

There are many more, give me yours!

So who Downelinks?

Downelink= Myspace for gay people. (although 70% of Myspace is gay in my opinion) I use to have a DL page. Kinda high profile, lots of friends (you kno that ridiculous # of people that looks good on the page but you only speak to maybe 10 of them so it's really a waste of time accepting them) I blogged religiously on there and thats where I attracted most of my attention, throw in a sarcastic sense of humor, a smart mouth, some cute pics and good poetry and it was on. lol. I admit to being a DL junkie for the greater portion of 2007. It became too much for my relationship, I was on there so damn much and talking to people who I shouldnt have been talking to cuz they served no purpose besides trouble. So yeah, had to let that go. It was fun & games while it lasted but I prefer for my relationship to last longer than my DL profile.

Who else has or had a DL page? Is it still any good or have they sucked all the funness (is that a word?) out of it by trying to copy off of Facebook? Have u ever had to ban yourself from DL or any other social networking site?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

You're a gold star lesbian? How precious.

I first learned the meaning of Gold Star Lesbian from the L Word, I believe it was season 3. (correct me if im wrong) When the ladies were seated outside at some sort of Tibette bbq/poolparty and Carmen revealed that she was a gold star. My ears automatically perked up to anything she had to say cuz she's that damn fine, so of course I wanna kno what a gold star is. It's promptly defined as a lesbian who has never had sex with a man. Claps & whistles for Carmen.

My star is a tad bit rusty. Is there a such thing as a brass star?

So who's in line with Carm and who's in my camp? Where do you think the majority lies?

I've wondered how my life would be different (if at all) if I had never been there done that with guys. I've also wondered if lesbians who have never slept with men feel as if they're a "higher caliber" of lesbian because they're untouched? lol. I know a couple of people who are elated at their gold star status, but I wonder if that translates over to them feeling a sense of "I'm more of a lesbian than you are because i've never been soiled by penis!!"

Whatever. My sexuality now (and for the past 6 yrs) has nothing to do with what I did when I was young and & confused. So after 20 yrs have gone by since i've slept with a man, maybe my star can get polished and buffed and become all sparkly again ;-)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

*Gay question of the day*

Should you experience having sex with with someone of your same sex BEFORE considering yourself gay or lesbian?

For me, this plays into the whole concept of gays and lesbians being hypersexualized in our society. As a lesbian, I feel as if people tend to think I sit around the house and f*ck 24 hours a day because hey, why else would I be into women?! And gay men have had a horrible rep for the longest now of being sexually "perverted" and promiscuous. I don't think there's a sex-prerequisite involved with knowing your sexual orientation. I've known i liked women since I was four. I was not having sex when I was four...I dont think. Plenty of people just have this feeling deep inside that they are the furthest thing from straight long before they even begin having sex. Now I do believe you should test the waters on both sides at least once in life, just to make sure you're safely on the right side of the island. I mean, how can you know whether or not you're severely disgusted with something if you never try it?

What's your take on this?