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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Do you take offense when someone asks if you're gay?

Last night I found my topic with a little help from College Hill on BET.
Sidebar- The College Hill cast is a hot ass mess and BET has got to do better. lol. Are there no black college students available who have some comon sense and tact? Not from the looks of things...

Anywho, so yeah. Of course there's a token gay person on the show, Kyle. And there's also a bi woman, Allison. On the first day of the show, Kyle and Milan (straight chick) met up with each other before meeting with everyone else. Milan asked Kyle if he was gay like within the 1st 3 mins of their convo. Honestly she didn't have to ask. I hate to sound stereotypical but Kyle is about as gay as gay can get. Fingersnaps, head rolls and then some. But I guess Milan didn't want to be presumptuous so she asked. Kyle gasped and cut his eyes at her and denied it. (I was about to cut the tv off over such blatant lies & trickery) But then he laughed and said yes he's gayer than gay (as I mentioned) Fine. All was well. Or so i thought. Once all the roomies met up with each other, Milan decides to jump right on in and opened the conversation with "Sooo who's gay, who's straight?" Allison says "I'm Bi." No biggie. Everyone else is like I'm straight. Kyle kyle kyle. He proceeds to blow up and snatch Milan's head off her shoulders for asking the question. He felt as if she were trying to out him on purpose with some sort of malice. When I say he went off, I mean he went OFF. "Did i ask if you were a man, bitch? Why you got all that make up on your face? Are your eyelashes fake? Is that yo hair?!" Blah blah blah.

Now I just wanna know if his response was warranted? I don't think it was. Yeah, Milan's question was random and should have been saved maybe for another time, and maybe she did have bad intentions. But me being me, I probably would have asked who was gay as well just because im nosey as hell and would want to know who I can identify with in one way or another! Allison didnt have a problem with it at all. She said she was bi and moved right along. No drama. But Kyle is a drama queen to the 10th power and I really believe that he just wanted some attention and wanted to show off his acting skills to set the tone for the rest of the season. How would you react if someone asked who was gay or straight? Do you get all beside yourself if someone poses the question to you?

12 comments:

Monie said...

Chanel,

I suppose it would depend on the situation, if the person was discrete then no biggie. But if the person asked me in a situation where they were trying to out me then I'd be pissed.

Pro's Hood said...

I do get offended not because i am ashamed of being lez... but more so because i do you walk up to any person and say "are you straight?" da fuck i be ready to be like bitch why u tryna lick me? lmaoooooooooooo loved this sis

knowledge said...

First of all, LOL at Kyle and the way you've described him. Hilarious. On to the question, I've never been asked if I was gay, however, I would not take offense to the question unless I got the feeling it was being done out of malice or to incite negativity. If Kyle felt her intentions were not in the right place, then he's reacting from a place he's coming from personally. Gay men have different experiences than gay or bisexual men and women and you have to be sensitive of that fact sometimes. Then again, she probably just wanted to get it all laid out on the table so there's no big blow up later down the road. But, you did say he discussed this with a previous roommate the night before and gave two different reactions. Sounds like he's a drama king... who is well aware that his exterior gives off the gay vibe.

Chanel said...

@Monie- Understandable. Yeah, if I felt as if someone was just trying to out me tovput me on blast and have a reason to run their mouth, then yes I would be upset too.

@Pro- LOL! I know rite. Although Milan did say Ok so who is straight, who is gay? I really think she was just bein nosey...like me. lol.

@knowledge- Im tellin you that's exactly how he acts! lol. I feel exactly about it how u expressed. My response would have depended on her motives. If she jus wanted to get eerything out in the open, so be it. No problems. But if she wanted to start some ish...problem. Big problem.

Little Miss Knobody said...

It depends on the situation for me, but most of the time...No, I wouldn't be offended. Mainly because I would rather someone ask me than just assume. If you ask me straight up, I'll tell you yeah...

Chanel said...

@Little Miss Knobody I feel u. I would much rather be asked than assumed. Not as if im ever assumed anyway because of how femme i am. Hmmm...i feel a new post coming

curiouslovechild said...

I agree with Knobody. I don't mind voicing who I am. Might as well be proud, right?

GypsyLin said...

Def wouldn't find that offensive, at all. I think it's weird when people do, gay or straight. However, I think it's necessary to note that maybe Kyle didn't want people to know right away. She kind of took that choice away from him. There are definitely potential safety issues and general discomfort around coming out in certain situations. I know there have been times where I wanted to avoid the convo when I was less secure in my identity or when I felt threatened. For instance, I don't think I would come out to a straight woman in a locker room...bad idea!

Alix said...

I've been asked if I was gay a few times and it's irritated me each and every time.

Once I was at work, my girlfriend had given me flowers along with flowers for my manager and my other coworker. My manager when around bragging that my girlfriend had given her flowers. One man came over to confirm, and he more so turned a statement into a question, "I didn't know you were gay...?" My answer: "Why would you?" It's not like we were friends, it's not like being gay affected my job performance.

Every other time I've been asked has always been at gay clubs. "Are you straight or bi?" I get irritated because gay doesn't even seem to be an option. Ain't that some ish! lol

whatilike said...

I think if somebody posed to me the question gay or straight, I'd be surprised (pleasantly?) that they didn't automatically assume I was the default, hetero.

breastswildasblkwaves said...

In that context I wouldn't be offended...it's a "reality" show for Pete's sake. In everyday life, yes...simply b/c as others have mentioned, I don't go around asking if people are straight. For one day, I just wanna totally flip the script on heteros and do as Monie suggested on her blog...be like "No hetero!" whenever I give a straight man a compliment and ask everyone if they're straight.

glennishamorgan said...

I've been asked if I was gay once by a bf I had back in the day during my past life. This was when I was in high school. I denied it back then because I hadn't even come to terms with my sexuality and I also was wondering how he'd have any idea that I liked women.

Today if somebody asked me I sure as hell wouldn't deny it. It also depends on the situation or motive. I hate when folks assume so I'd probably be glad someone asked or gave me the opportunity to be up front and out myself.