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Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Monday, April 27, 2009

When the sex flies out the window....

So we all know how it is in the beginning of new relationships. Everything is lovey dovey and filled with kisses and tickles and giggles and goo goo eyes, topped off with LOTS of mind blowing spine tingling sex. It's all fresh and new and exciting and you just cant get enough so you go at each other like porn stars. Its great :-)

Fastforward a few yrs into the relationship. Lights on, cameras off, the dust has settled and the real world has crept in. SOME couples are good at keeping the sex new and energized. Others...not so much. So what is going on? I never really believed in the whole Lesbian Bed Death concept. The rule that says women in lesbian relationships tend to have less sex than hetero couples because women naturally have lower sex drives and eventually, the sex dies completely. Now I dont know about any of you but i'll never last long in a relationship where the sex is dead. So what do you do to keep it flowin properly?

Many couples attribute a lack of sex to one or more of the following:
-no chemistry
-poor communication
-no attraction
-someone is cheating

None of the above are good for relationships. I see why the sex would die in these conditions. But what if it really is NONE of the above? What happens to that exciting sex life in the begining? Is it nature? Or is it something that can be worked on and revived?


Monie said...


Sex in relationships ebbs and flows for me; there are times when I've had unbelievable amounts of sex in a relationship and then times when there was almost no sex.

There are moments in relationships when there may be a lot of stress, from work or school or whatever. That can def put the brakes on sex.

Usually stuff resolves itself and the sex gets back to normal. The one thing that I know that will kill sex is resentments. If you start to resent your gf and it doesn't get resolved then that's gonna be bad for the sex life.

Alix said...

I've never been in a relationship where the sex died without reason. It was always something deeper going on.

Call me a romantic, but I refuse to believe that if the love is still present that won't take the opportunity to express that love physically.

Chanel said...

Monie- Yeah I feel you on the whole ebb & flow thing. It's wierd but it definitely happens. And the whole resentment thing is kinda scary. Scratch that. Its VERY scary.

Alix- I believe what u belive. Honestly, I feel like something deeper has to be going on. Cuz sex is sex right? And if its good, then why wouldnt u want to have it?!