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Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I tried to tap into my straight "side" yesterday...

I was thinking about myself yesterday. I mean, I think to myself all the time (duh), but I was actually thinking about myself and my history as far as relationships go. I've exclusively dated women for the past six years. Before that, there were a few guys on the radar. But after 2003, it's like they dropped off the face of my world. lol. No offense to men but y'all became lightweight irrelevant to me.

Sometimes it boggles my mind how things work, especially when it comes to sexuality. I'm the first to say that sexuality is fluid and complicated, but once you've figured yourself out and you're secure in it, it shouldn't be complex at all to you. (Maybe to everyone else but who cares?) So yeah, yesterday I got to thinking about how smoothly I made that switch over to being comfortable and happy dating & being sexually active with women only. I haven't had any withdrawl smptoms, any cravings or flashbacks, no shoulda coulda wouldas, nothing. And Im so happy about that. That's why im an advocate of trying it all out early on to see what suits you best. Because once you find it, you'll know and you won't have to deal with being flip floppy. (y'all know how I feel about fickle sometimey any way the wind blow lesbians)

But just for the hell of it, yesterday while I was out & about, I took notice of this guy. He was cute. Very cute actually. Chanel via 2000 woulda been delighted with him. lol. Now, I'm happily wifed up (Hi Baby!!:-) so I didnt wanna make anything obvious to him that I was tryin to check him out because I didn't wanna have to burst his bubble and tell him I was taken. So I was trying to be discrete. He had a great physique. Tall, toned, well dressed. He was attractive. I wanted to see if I could feel NOW what I felt yrs ago for the opposite sex.

You know how it is when you see someone physically attractive who really catches your attention...a light tingle runs down your spine all of a sudden, makes you take notice like mmmm. Your eyes tattle-tell on you as they roam to whichever places on the body or face that fascinate you the most. That slight smile teases across your lips as your mind begins to wander, tip toeing that fine line of lust...

Y'all know what i'm talking about.

Yeah um, it didn't happen for me yesterday. At all. lol. I saw him, noted that he was cute, tried to see if i felt anything extra and...nada. It's honestly just not there. No spark or kismet whatsoever for men anymore. Its kinda trippy! Like how does that happen? Did a part of my brain shut down? Or maybe a part of my soul woke up....

I don't know. It's just different with women. So different. And men...yeah you guys are still pretty much irrelevant to me. Sorry!

5 comments:

Alix said...

There are a few men, mostly celebrities, that I love to watch. I know they are attractive. I even call them my baby daddy, but I'm really only interested in their sperm, lol. They don't make me tingle. Under no circumstances do I imagine them naked. Penis & testicles should be covered at all times. Ugh...Honestly, I don't know that men ever made me tingle. Even though I spent all of my early dating years with them.

Chanel said...

Lol Alix. I kno how u feel. I've always thought penis was kinda rude. Its sooooo unattractive. Seriously. lmao @ just ineterested in the sperm. I kno rite. Like um i could give two hells about you but can i pls have a sample of your sperm for purposes of procreation? Thanks.

knowledge said...

I've never felt that way for a man or a boy when I was younger for that matter. I had no interest in experimenting either. Women, however, have always made me tingle! Sexuality is fluid but it encompasses everything from the sexual flavors within our sexuality that attracts us and causes us to experiment at different times. It's much more than preference for me. I do find certain men attractive, but you'd have to be blind not to. Hell, I think the men in my family are very attractive and I don't think I'm being biased either. :)

lol@ Alix. You sound like someone I know with the sperm reference.

GypsyLin said...

As far as the loss of attraction goes, I think that happens to a lot of lesbians. Denial is a powerful thing and we're socialized to want men...even if we don't really want them. It's hard to fight that and you have to get into the right mindset to do that. I think often women push themselves to feel something they don't, because they feel they should. Once you open the door to lesbianism, however, that need is gone.

Monie said...

Chanel,

I never even notice men. I've never been with a guy so maybe that has something to do with why I don't notice them. From the time I was 12 or 13 I was totally into the girls.