When I was younger, I struggled with understanding what it meant to "keep" somebody. I heard the phrase used many times. "i dont keep h*es who dont wanna be kept!" and so forth. But what does that mean? Kept as in picking something up and keeping it in your pocket? Kept as in being stingy with it and not sharing with anyone else? Wtf does keeping someone mean? When I thought "kept" i equated that to slavery. lol. *shrug*
Now, as a grown ass woman who has tried her not so good luck at relationships, I fully understand what a "kept woman" is and it is not for me.
If you are with someone who needs to be kept, RUN. The only reason u will ever feel as if you are struggling to keep someone is if they don't really wanna be there anymore. If you have someone who willingly gives all of their heart, soul, attention, affection and most of their time...you arent keeping them, you're enjoying the benefits of being loved. If you have someone who conveniently forgets where home is, dodges spending time with you, opts to spend quality time elsewhere, ignores you, puts you on hold, needs to be chased, or gives excuses as to why they aren't available....you are trying to keep someone who doesnt want to be kept and you're only hurting yourself. You aren't hurting the other person because being "kept" by you while having the space and opportunity to play elsewhere is very much so like having your cake and eating it too. Who doesn't want that if they can get it?
Keeping someone who doesn't want to be kept is a waste of time, energy and emotion. Oprah often quotes Dr. Maya Angelou, "When someone shows u who they are, believe them." I believe this to a certain extent. I do believe in the power of growth and change though, so just because i showed u who i was at one point in my life some years ago, doesnt mean im in the same place now. So allow me to alter that phrase for the sake of this post. When you know you are giving your all and someone shows you that they aren't satisfied/happy/pleased/fulfilled with what you are giving them, believe them. And let them GO. Trying to "keep" someone else will only lead to losing your own damn mind. Not worth it.