~Lovely lil Disclaimer~

Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Its not cheaper to keep her

When I was younger, I struggled with understanding what it meant to "keep" somebody. I heard the phrase used many times. "i dont keep h*es who dont wanna be kept!" and so forth. But what does that mean? Kept as in picking something up and keeping it in your pocket? Kept as in being stingy with it and not sharing with anyone else? Wtf does keeping someone mean? When I thought "kept" i equated that to slavery. lol. *shrug*

Now, as a grown ass woman who has tried her not so good luck at relationships, I fully understand what a "kept woman" is and it is not for me.

If you are with someone who needs to be kept, RUN. The only reason u will ever feel as if you are struggling to keep someone is if they don't really wanna be there anymore. If you have someone who willingly gives all of their heart, soul, attention, affection and most of their time...you arent keeping them, you're enjoying the benefits of being loved. If you have someone who conveniently forgets where home is, dodges spending time with you, opts to spend quality time elsewhere, ignores you, puts you on hold, needs to be chased, or gives excuses as to why they aren't available....you are trying to keep someone who doesnt want to be kept and you're only hurting yourself. You aren't hurting the other person because being "kept" by you while having the space and opportunity to play elsewhere is very much so like having your cake and eating it too. Who doesn't want that if they can get it?

Keeping someone who doesn't want to be kept is a waste of time, energy and emotion. Oprah often quotes Dr. Maya Angelou, "When someone shows u who they are, believe them." I believe this to a certain extent. I do believe in the power of growth and change though, so just because i showed u who i was at one point in my life some years ago, doesnt mean im in the same place now. So allow me to alter that phrase for the sake of this post. When you know you are giving your all and someone shows you that they aren't satisfied/happy/pleased/fulfilled with what you are giving them, believe them. And let them GO. Trying to "keep" someone else will only lead to losing your own damn mind. Not worth it.


Anonymous said...

Smh. U know, u always seem to post the right shit at the right time. I needed to read this. I am currently keeping my partner of 6 yrs and based on her actions, she has been telling me that she wants to be set free. Anytime it becomes a hassle for someone who claims they love you to pick up a phone and get in contact with u, they dnt wanna be there anymore. She's playing with me and I'm letting it happen. I'm just about through and when she comes home and finds my shit packed, she'll know I'm done. Hopefully she's getting everything she needs elsewhere so someone else can pick up the task of keeping her. Thank you for this post.

page said...

Zane “Love is Never Painless" read there is one story in there that will blow your mind. Funny Five words can tear your life up and rip out your heart: IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME. That's some sh*** you hear anywhere from date 1 to the first 30 days not when you are year into the relationship. Yep i have been there. And then they wanna talk everyday like sh** is just fine... trying to keep that door open. Tracy Chapman said "sometimes you have to selfish and love your self more" . If she doesn't treat you right love your self enough to let it go... i know the heart wants what the heart wants... but let the brain take over so you can find that person that has passion, love, consideration and devotion for your very essence. You are truly a good woman and deserving of someone who is humble and know they are blessed to have someone as kind, loving, and faithful as you. keep me posted Anonymous...Channel was right! And how u doing?! Jacobyjax

Sabrae Carter said...

all i can say is AMEN