So we've all been in fucked up relationships. Most of them start beautifully and end tragically because like the old adage says, all good things come to an end. So-called relationship experts say the best thing to do after a break up is to consolidate your feelings, get closure and start piecing your single life back together bit by bit.
What a crock of shit.
How do you consolidate feelings? I know how to consolidate debt...but feelings/emotions/love/anger/hostility/resentment/hopelessness/etcetera... how the hell do u wrap all of that into a bundle and pay it down until it no longer exists anymore? *shrug*
And what is closure, exactly? Is there really a question that can be answered, an aha moment waiting to happen where all of the atrocicites that happened in the relationship all come together to make perfect sense, leaving you able to walk away from it a better person?? Is that closure? Does anyone really get comfort from figuring out why and how things took that final turn for the worse? Maybe I just don't get it. Then again, I changed my major from Psych to English a long ass time ago because I knew I would make the worst possible relationship therapist ever.
ME as the therapist: Oh you say ya'll havent had sex in 6 months?? Well, if u want my professional opinion, sounds like either one or both of yall is gettin some ass on the side so either confess, knock it off and start banging each other instead, OR get a divorce.
SO yeah...maybe it's just not meant for me to comprehend the rational logistics behind matters of the heart gone bad. When a relationship that means something to me ends, I tend to dissect it to the point of no return and the bare bones that I leave behind never fail to make me completely miserable. Even with consolidated feelings, attempted closure, and stray attempts to move on, it all seems like failure to me because the relationship didnt survive. *sigh*
How do u push past the bullshit, drama and pain? I know its possible to continue living life and eventually find happiness elsewhere...but that can only happen if u figure out your starting point first...
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Chanel, I wish I knew the answer to this. I think the trick to getting past the negative feelings after a break is being comfortable with the fact that yall are no longer together. The reasons don't really matter. All the emotions, the understanding...None of that matters either. It's simply waking up in the morning and being comfortable with that person no longer being a romantic part of your life. Now how do you get there? Time, maybe?
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