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Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Twisted knot of intimacy

A rather astute FB friend of mine posted a status earlier today that simply said "Companionship is NOT the same thing as a relationship." I wholeheartedly agree. That got me thinking though about how intricate [fucked up] situations can become when the lines between friendship/companionship/relationship are blurred whether it be on purpose or an ooops.

I feel like most ppl know the definition of a friend, a lover, and a companion. But just for the hell of it, here you go.

FRIEND: A person who has regard for another by means of platonic affection and interaction.
LOVER: A person who has a sexual and/or romantic relationship with another.
COMPANION: A person who is frequently in the company of, associates with, or accompanies another and feels safe doing so.

These categories seem pretty clear cut on the surface. But uh uh. No ma'am. People start mixin & minglin with different expectations/interpretations and before you know it, some type of drama unravels. I feel like this. You can't have a real friendship without sharing a sense of companionship with that person. You CAN have a romantic relationship without having a sense of companionship...but it sucks big time and that relationship will not last. You CAN have a friend...who is also your lover...but we all know how bad sex usually complicates things. [not BAD sex, just sex in general, whether its good or bad. Although sucky sex can royally mess shit up. But I digress] You can also have a friend who makes a great companion and you would be feelin' them in the lover department, but you're too afraid to take it there so y'all are just stuck in that severely awkward phase where everyone around y'all kinda just stare at you like who the hell are YALL tryin to fool O_0 smh.

It's a lot. Especially when emotional attachments are in the picture, or when you're in a relationship with someone and have really close friendships outside of the relationship and jealousy surfaces from the partner OR from the friends. sigh. It makes my head hurt. I'm thinking that it's not that people don't know what friendship or relationships mean. I think it's the P word that throws things off. So...here's what the dictionary says.

PLATONIC: Free from sensual desire. Void of connections both physical and emotional that are parallel to that of a [healthy] romantic relationship.

Yep. Most people get a massive FAIL when it comes to developing and maintaining strictly platonic friendships. There seems to always be SOMEthing that SOMEone can't refrain from doing that adds an extra layer of intimacy to a friendship that muddies the water. [or makes it more beautiful, depending on who you ask] SO what the hell to do!!?? Do you choose to not have close friends? Do you choose to not have a life partner? Do you have both and just deal with the drama as it comes, oh and it WILL come in one form or another. Do you lock yourself away and tell everyone to fuck themselves cuz aint none of yall shit anyway???

I mean...i'm just sayin.

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