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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Valentine's Day sucks for lesbians

Yes this is true. Valentine's day is what it is. A commercialized capitalistic gold mine for heterosexuals and bisexuals who make sure they're conveniently booed up with men every February 14th. Valentine's day is about all things pink and red and fluffy and furry and chocolatey and glittery and hallmarky and all that other shit. It's the perfect time of year for men to venture out in their King of the Jungle outfits and round up all of the mushy crap they can find to impress their powder puffs back at the house. Key words here are MEN , MUSHY CRAP. Mixing men and mushy crap usually leads to disaster, but they are MEN and we expect that from them. Straight women oooh and ahhh and tear up at the same ole crap they give every yr and say it's the thought that counts and they move on. Another day another dollar.

What does this have to do with lesbians?? Thank you for asking.

Women giving mushy gifts to other women = a dangerous combination. We are good at that shit. (usually. There are exceptions to every rule o_0) We know how to shop and we know what gift is gonna strike what chord deep inside the recesses of your girls complicated ass mind. We put thought, blood, sweat and tears behind any gift we buy and we like to make it MEAN something. It's all about meaning, and perception and feelings. Which is why Valentine's day sucks for lesbians because if you just so happen to NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE and February 14th rolls around...it makes you wanna hang out around the highest point of the Golden Gate bridge and not for no damn sightseeing. *sigh* It's just rude. Women should not get other women addicted to receiving all the cutesy romantic shit UNLESS they're gonna be there to give it every single year without any hesitation :-(



Foxy Brown said...

amen and amen. glad you finally posted something.

LaurynX. said...

lmao at this post. I said this almost exact same thing last year. This year I feel differently for various reasons, but not cause I have somebody. Valentines Day has always been more family/friends than romantic. Maybe cause I haven't had somebody give me a REALLY touching gift yet? lol.

Cook.ThePoet. said...

LMaooo!!! *applause*