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Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Movie Review- The Kids Are Alright *SPOILERS INSIDE*


The above picture is one of the early scenes from the film, The Kids Are Alright.

So um...the kids might be spectacular, but I'm not. The film stars Annette Benning, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson. May I put emphasis on Annette Benning and Julianne Moore. Two highly regarded actresses whom I have enjoyed in everything they've done because they are extremely picky about the roles they choose.

With this movie, they not only dropped the ball on selecting amazing roles, they completely deflated it. I can't even explain how UGGH i felt after watching this. My partner and I were seriously looking at each other like are they f*&$%g serious!?

So the movie basically went like this. Annette and Julianne (Nic and Jules) are a comfortably middle class lesbian couple who have been together for years. They have each carried one child, a girl and a boy, whom they have raised together. Their daughter, Joni, is the oldest who has just made 18 and their son, Laser, is 16. Laser approaches his sister one night and asks if she has considered "the thing" he talked to her about. She pretty much said uhh yeah and no i dont wanna do it so leave me alone. Laser looks broke and dejected about it and Joni finally gives in and says ILL DO IT DAMN! The mysterious "thing" they're speaking of is Laser's desire for Joni to reach out to their sperm donor. In California, if a donor selects the option to be contacted, the children (is the word begotten? lol. I'll just roll with that) begotten from his sperm can opt to reach out to the sperm donor after their 18th bday. Laser is too young to contact his father so he wants Joni to do it. Joni does.

In comes Paul (Mark Ruffalo). He accepts the kids suggestion to get together. They meet up for a quick lunch and its kinda awkward but they decide they want to be a part of his life. So they tell their mom's about it and a huge happy family dinner is arranged. Hence, that picture at the top. Annete and Julianne, or Nic & Jules, were not exactly doing cartwheels when their kids told them what was up, but they did decide to entertain the idea. The dinner went well, but the first thing I noticed was the unspoken tension between Paul and Jules. He was flirting with her. It was subtle. But it was there. I saw where it was goin and I did not like it.

Oh and it went there. Over and over again. Jules, who was supposed to be committed to and in love with Nic, banged Paul every which way past Tuesday. Many times! *sigh* It all started with her saying "when I look at you i see my kids..." blah. That doesn't even sound right. I look at you and i see my son so that makes me horny. o_O Have a seat Jules. You trollop.

So yeah. She cheats on Nic while Nic continues to welcome Paul into their home, getting to know him, letting the kids get close to him. Smh. Oh and did i mention that Nic and Jules dont have ONE SINGLE adequate sex scene between the two of them?? The movie shows Jules gettin twisted, tossed, and turned by Paul, but her and her wife's sex life is flatlined________________/ Drier than the Sahara. It's just rude. And completely false. I mean, yeah, couples go thru phases where the sex may not move the universe every single time, and it might not happen as much as they would like, but come on now.

I just absolutely hate the fact that the lesbian fell for the scruffy straight douchebag guy and risked her entire family over some dick! *wooosah* Oh and then the way Nic found out about the affair. mmm. Found her wife's hair (which sheds ALOT. She mite wanna have that checked) all up and IN Paul's bedroom and bathroom. Smh. And then she went back in to dinner with the fam CALMLY!! Couldn't have been me. Jules face woulda been shoved right into her plate. Sorry. Forgive me for my temper.

Thematically, the movie was disappointing. The acting was decent but the plot just irked my last nerve. I know people cheat on each other all the time. And yes, some lesbians fall and slip on real penises from time to time. *shrug* But geez. I don't know. It just rubbed me in all the wrong places. I'm chaffed now. I don't like it. Trying to forget it. Blah.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

omg....you hit the nail on the head. i just saw this movie. so disappointed. there's nothing i can say that you haven't already covered.

what was up with the gay porn in the beginning??

btw...this is tammy (pink chocolate sunshine) different ID