~Lovely lil Disclaimer~

Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Gay & In Denial = FAIL

Allow me to preface this post with a disclaimer: I love feedback. Everyone has opinions and I honestly love hearing them. I believe in the power of controversy to stir up brilliant dialogue on social issues. I fully understand and respect that my views on these issues are not shared by everyone, thus I welcome intelligent debate and discussion. [pay close attention here] But if you reply with even a hint of ignorance or homophobia, I will not publish your comment in my comments section. I will, however, copy and paste your comment into the body of my post, put you on blast, proceed to burst your bubble and carry on with life as planned. If it's worth it to you, please try me. That is all.

Now onto the reason why i'm blogging in the AM on a Saturday. Donnie McClurkin.

"How YOU doin?"

McClurkin has given me the absolute unabashed 100% MOST this morning. A few days ago a Youtube "sermon" of his spread like syphilis. Or at least it was highly contagious on MY Twitter timeline. This could possibly be because I follow just about every gay in the Twitter universe *shrug*. But yes, every other tweet was about this video of Donnie going on about how the comunity is failing the kids because they are all being lost to homosexuality, God didn't create us for such perversion, had it not been for the Lord he would still be in the life, etc.


Okay. My first problem with the video was not the content. I'm a born & raised church baby from wayyy back. Im use to the whole homosexuality=sin argument. So over it. My main issue with Donnie is the dramatics of it all. Ohhh McClurkin worked it. Every single minute of that monologue was pulled from the depths of his twinkerbell soul. The 1st 5 mins of the vid are of him sighin and cryin into the mic like a wayward orphan. He laid it on so thick had I been there that Sunday, I woulda had to put up that church finger and excuse myself with a quickness before i started cackling. Donnie's Oscar nomination game is PROPER. He is the Denzel Washington of the gospel world. He pleaded, and begged, and boo hooed and Keith Sweated (whined) with the best of em all while puttin people on blast and shrinking the self-worth of an entire category of society down to nada. In the name of Jesus Christ his Lord and Savior.


There have already been dozens of brilliant blog posts on how far gone into denial Donnie McClurkin is about his sexuality. He likes to believe that he's an "ex gay." I don't believe there's a such thing as "ex gay" (especially when u make comments like "I don't eat sugar, but that doesn't mean I don't want sugar."- Donnie. ) So I consider him to be re-closeted. He has chosen to pick back up the burden of shame, guilt and self-hatred that comes along with being a closeted gay. I do not sympathize or empathize with him in the slightest. It's his life, he's a grown man and has to live with his decisions until the day he dies. I just know that living a lie is the most detrimental and painful form of suicide that a person can take part in. Who really needs the prayer here?

So that's that. Onto another member of the gospel community who has gotten press off the subject of homosexuality: Tonex. (The person Donnie calls out during his rousing monologue) I confess to not being able to name a single Tonex song. I've heard of him. I know he's a big deal in the gospel world and i've seen him on the gospel award shows. But I never paid him much attention until i saw his interview with Lexi on YouTube. I didn't even know that he publicly came out of the closet like that in Sepetember of this year. Within nine minutes, I gained more respect for Tonex than I ever had for Donnie McClurkin throughout his entire career. The following paraphrased excerpt is from the interview:

"Yes, I was molested as a young child. My mind was exposed to sexual situations way too early. It could have laid the foundation or planted a seed, but I take full ownership of my sexual exploration... People like to blame molestation for their sexuality. No. Just be honest and say that you're attracted to men. Homosexuality is not a struggle."

*claps & whistles*

You just don't know much it warmed my heart to hear someone separate rape and molestation from being gay. Read this twice: NOT ALL GAY PEOPLE WERE VICTIMIZED AS CHILDREN. Yes, many were. As were many heterosexual people. How do you explain their subsequent straightness? I was never molested as a child. I'm gayer than gay. Therefore, molestation and sexual orientation do not have a cause and effect relationship. Why do people try to force it?

In essence, Tonex was man enough to say- Stop the BS. If you're a man who likes men, be that. If you're a chick who digs chicks, do you. Don't make any excuses to appease those around you or to pacify yourself. Live your life, find a sense of security within yourself, and everything else will fall in line.
Kudos to him for that message. As for Donnie McClurkin, chile boo. Go sit yourself in the corner and re-evaluate your inner being before casting judgment on others. In the classic words of @LuvvieIg (follow her on Twitter, follow me @ChanelSaysSo) - "It's like the pot callin the kettle Ne-Yo"


Lady K said...

Ohhhhhh, I love this one so much I am squirming in my seat at work. My God you could not have said it better, I have not heard of Tonex but I will be going home to find him on YouTube and getting the 411. I try not to pass judgment on others and realize that we all come at life from different angles, but it burns me to the bone when people stand behind the pulpit and push their own agendas. I am a church baby too so I should be used to it but the hypocrisy still bothers me. I get immensely steamed when people group being gay with molestation, being a pedophile, or incest. I still don't get why if you say you are Gay you are suddenly responsible for all the worlds vices. I am me, I was not molested or a product of any other horrible act. I am Bisexual woman and I am happy about it. If Donnie feels like God brought him out, so be it, but why do you feel the need to call somebody else out or tear them down. And this is a personal pet peeve of mine, I don’t understand how people, church people especially can talk about the children/teens of our community. What are you doing to help the situation, other than putting your mouth on it? Teens need outlets, and support groups and places they can be themselves, especially Gay teens. To me when you are that young and brave enough to stand up and say who you are a great support system is imperative. They don’t need somebody else standing behind the pulpit or a podium telling them its something wrong with them and that they are going to hell if their parents don’t fight back. It’s amazing how soon we forget where we come from. I have got to go look up these interviews so I can get caught up.

Ty said...

That was a good read. I ended up watching the whole Tonex interview and I respect him for standing in his truth.

I have always maintained that God and I have this queer thing squared away. I believe that He is a loving, forgiving and equal opportunity God. No one person is above the other in the smiting hierarchy. I don't think He is going to smite me for being open and honest about being gay and let the next person go for lying.

As to the matter of Donnie ... allow me to pass because I could get on my lil shoe box and preach a sermonette on his sermon and that would make me no different from him for passing judgment.

Toni said...

Ok, I had absolutely no idea about Tonex coming out, but I absolutely adore him so I'm soooo happy for him! Good job steppin up to the plate and handling things.
No, as for Donnie (sigh, smh)...I used to love Donnie, and I still do, I jus pray for him a little more nowadays. And I really think that sermon might have been more of him preaching to himself than to anyone else. I think he's surrounded himself around people that have beat HIM down for who HE is...it is a shame though.

Good post!

SweetT said...

Wow, this post opened my eyes to some things...Thanks.

Foxy Brown said...

ok, so i know i'm late but i stand and applause you for this one. you hit the proverbial nail on the effin head. i have had issues with donnie for years. like most of the other posters, i am a church baby. in fact, i am a minister. the homosexual=one way ticket to hell arguments bore/tire/work my last nerve. personally, i think donnie is using this "ex-gay" thing to keep his fledgling career going.

as far as tonex goes, i never listened to his music but was always well aware of who he was. i was so not surprised when he came out. i was surprised at the big uproar that it caused. i respect his decision for coming out and calling a spade, a spade. i think i'm going to check out his interview with lexi. i gotta respect him for being honest with himself and calling others to be honest with themselves.

Cook.ThePoet. said...

LMFAO!! Wow McClurkin goin in?! Waaattt?? I ddnt even no he was a "ex gay" Dat ish dnt even sound right. Ehh, watev. Love the post.