~Lovely lil Disclaimer~

Keep in mind that this blog is devoted to all things GAY. That means any news, advice, entertainment, literature, reviews, jokes,polls, etc will be completely curved. I might give it to you with no chaser but it definitely wont be STRAIGHT!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

There is an I in WE.

"Love is as much of an object as an obsession. Everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it. Those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it." -Curtis Judalet

Being in love is a beautiful, unparalleled circumstance. I believe love truly does make the world go around. Without it, we would all be cold-hearted, bitter, resentful, selfish people with nothing to gain and everything to lose. Falling in love is the easy part that us writers drop line after line about. But maintaining a healthy, balanced and delicate relationship is the part that makes many of us wanna jump off bridges. [not really, but im jus sayin]

I think one of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to solidly unite with your partner while also staying unique and true to one's self. Alot of people struggle with falling into their partners shadow, for one reason or another. I've never personally had that problem and with my personality, I don't even think it's possible. But I've definitely been witness to how painful and difficult it is to overcome. Speaking from experience, i've never intentionally tried to shove someone I was with under the bus so i could thrive, sparkle & shine all by my lonesome. lol. That's just rude. I would rather the both of us have the ability to stand out and be the best at whatever it is we individually (or jointly) do. But sometimes, it doesn't happen and someone ends up losing themselves in the relationship.

What happens then?

I think it's important for individuals to have a firm grasp on who they are, what they believe in, and what they love about themselves before getting involved with someone. It's absolutely necessary. Without that firm anchor, you're liable to drown. When you're in a relationship, it's easy to get wrapped up in eachother's everything. I mean, you spend hour after hour with that person, you do everything together, you wanna make that person happy, you don't like being alone, etc. But after awhile, it's also easy for a part of you to become mal-nourished. Your self-identity.

I'm not really sure how to keep this from happening, or how to make things better once it has already happened. But I know it's a problem that can lead to unhappiness, unbalance and discord. Anyone have any insight on it?

2 comments:

Monie said...

Chanel,

I don't really know how to keep it from happening. I think it depends on the personalities. If one partner has a really strong personality and the other a more low key one then the latter may get a little trampled.

For me in my current relationship my gf has a pretty strong personality. I tend to let her and like for her to take the lead. So I guess over time that means our relationship and the directions it will take may reflect more of her than me.

Maybe I will get tired of that one day I'm not sure. But it's working for me now! Lol

beethelesbian said...

I almost kiced the rocks, but I decided to comment.
I think this is beautiful. I hate love, and love it at the same damn time.