Prude vs Rude

So it has been a minute since I blogged about sex. Let's go ahead and end the dry spell and dive right in. I've had a few entertaining conversations with some friends of mine on the topic of how soon is too soon to take it "there" with someone you are dating. "There" is the polite way of saying giving up the ass...or the strap, whichever way you swing it.

Now me personally, I don't have a particular time constraint. You know some women swear by the three month rule (two months if you have $$) . That just seems a bit anal to me. [no pun intended] But I have never and don't plan on ever letting ANYone hit on the first night. Or the second. Or the third. lol. I know the goods are on point and I will make you work for them. So no second week nookie over here. But if i'm kickin it with someone and the vibe is there, and we are both feelin it, and there's a strong connection...i'm not gonna block just because three solid months haven't passed. To me that goes beyond being a prude. It's RUDE. Rude to the person you are making out with only to send home night after night to hump on cold pillows alone, and rude to yourself!!! Please pay close attention here. I AM NOT ADVOCATING BEING A HEAUX. No ma'am. Never that. But come on now. Learn how to loosen up a little bit and enjoy yourself with someone if there's a connection there. Explore your sexuality and let it flow. [Pun intended.] But by all means, be safe and have discretions. Loosening up is not the same as being loose. I will never sleep with anyone who I don't feel is worth it. And by worth it , I mean I can see myself coming back for more, and I can see her being someone I would actually invest time on. Sorry to all of you one night stand advocates. *shrug*

What makes someone a prude? What makes someone a hoe? Talk about it...

Can we be friends?? Hell no.

So as I'm up at some ungodly hour early in the morning thinking about the mess that is my life right now, i'm simultaneously clicking on random Youtube links. I came across a video talkin about past relationships that went sour and how a friendship with the ex didnt work out, for one reason or another. It got me thinkin about what it is that determines whether or not a friendship is possible after a romantic interlude. It has to be some certain component between the two people that's either in full effect, or it's completely non-existent. I think at the least, the formula has to consist of mutual respect, boundaries, understanding and maturity. Beyond that, i havent a clue how to make it work.

Speaking for myself, i'm friends with ONE ex girlfriend and that shit almost didnt happen either. lol. But we worked it out and i love her like a sister now. But everyone else...pssssh. Once the relationship/complicated situation fizzled out, it was a done deal. I'm a firm believer that not everyone is suppose to be in your life forever. A lot of people get caught up in trying to play nice by holding onto exes as friends, but sometimes...it's just not worth the drama.
Here are a few reasons why you should just walk away:

1.If you're still in love with her and there's no sign of her feeling the same way- let it go. It's only gonna break your heart on a daily basis to be around this girl that u want but who is obviously over u and probably close to being on to the next one. Take some time to get over her and get ya mind right, and then maybe a friendship will be possible in the future. Until then, you'll just look like a desperate clingy stalker. *shrug*

2. If you hate her with everything dark and evil inside of you- let it go and get some counseling. Nothing good can come out of hating an ex. Any type of friendship you attempt is probably merely a disguise to easily set it up for u to blackmail/sabotage/get some type of revenge on her for crushing your world. No friendship material found here.

3. You have a new love interest but something about your ex keeps pulling you back...either let the ex go, or let the new chick go. It's probably not safe for u to attempt to keep both. Sometimes the sexual chemistry between two people will never ever ever fade, even when the relationship is dead and gone. Lingering thoughts of great sex will make u temporarily forget why yall broke up in the first place and will eventually get u in trouble if u are always around one another.

4. You don't hate her, you arent in love with her, you dont even necessarily wanna hit, but u just feel some kinda way whenever u look at her- let it go at least until u wash away the residue. Thats all it is. All relationships leave remnants of everything that went bad and good between two people and sometimes it takes a while to thoroughly clean house. Forcing a friendship before the time is right will only lead to frustration and bitterness.

So yeah, sometimes it really is okay to have that one last cry/kiss/hug/argument/sexsession and completely close the chapter on that person. If you arent mutually bringing any positivity, growth or happiness into one anothers lives, then what's the point of salvaging a friendship built on a sinking foundation?

Sex & stuff

Happy Monday! I dont say that often so enjoy it!! I've been awfully quiet lately, had way too much stuff on my mind and couldnt quite steady myself enough to post. But, i'm back and i'd like to talk about sex. Big shock there.

I just read a post that left me a little confused. A guy wrote about a sexual encounter he had with a young lady that left him utterly disgusted yet unbelievably turned on at the same time. *blank stare* I don't quite understand that. Maybe it's just me but if i'm disgusted by someone or something, I don't think I can have sex at that moment. He went on to discuss how she wasnt necessarily a disgusting person, but the things she was doing to him made him loathe her and look at her like a nasty trollop...but he couldn't stop. *another blank stare* Is this normal? lol. Like how on one hand are you thinking "This nasty dirty bitch! Look at her takin it in like a whore, she makes me sick!" But you keep goin at it??? Um. No.

I jus found this to be a little wierd. Maybe its just me...