Gay & In Denial = FAIL

Allow me to preface this post with a disclaimer: I love feedback. Everyone has opinions and I honestly love hearing them. I believe in the power of controversy to stir up brilliant dialogue on social issues. I fully understand and respect that my views on these issues are not shared by everyone, thus I welcome intelligent debate and discussion. [pay close attention here] But if you reply with even a hint of ignorance or homophobia, I will not publish your comment in my comments section. I will, however, copy and paste your comment into the body of my post, put you on blast, proceed to burst your bubble and carry on with life as planned. If it's worth it to you, please try me. That is all.
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Now onto the reason why i'm blogging in the AM on a Saturday. Donnie McClurkin.

o_O

"How YOU doin?"

McClurkin has given me the absolute unabashed 100% MOST this morning. A few days ago a Youtube "sermon" of his spread like syphilis. Or at least it was highly contagious on MY Twitter timeline. This could possibly be because I follow just about every gay in the Twitter universe *shrug*. But yes, every other tweet was about this video of Donnie going on about how the comunity is failing the kids because they are all being lost to homosexuality, God didn't create us for such perversion, had it not been for the Lord he would still be in the life, etc.

*sigh*

Okay. My first problem with the video was not the content. I'm a born & raised church baby from wayyy back. Im use to the whole homosexuality=sin argument. So over it. My main issue with Donnie is the dramatics of it all. Ohhh McClurkin worked it. Every single minute of that monologue was pulled from the depths of his twinkerbell soul. The 1st 5 mins of the vid are of him sighin and cryin into the mic like a wayward orphan. He laid it on so thick had I been there that Sunday, I woulda had to put up that church finger and excuse myself with a quickness before i started cackling. Donnie's Oscar nomination game is PROPER. He is the Denzel Washington of the gospel world. He pleaded, and begged, and boo hooed and Keith Sweated (whined) with the best of em all while puttin people on blast and shrinking the self-worth of an entire category of society down to nada. In the name of Jesus Christ his Lord and Savior.

*pause*

There have already been dozens of brilliant blog posts on how far gone into denial Donnie McClurkin is about his sexuality. He likes to believe that he's an "ex gay." I don't believe there's a such thing as "ex gay" (especially when u make comments like "I don't eat sugar, but that doesn't mean I don't want sugar."- Donnie. ) So I consider him to be re-closeted. He has chosen to pick back up the burden of shame, guilt and self-hatred that comes along with being a closeted gay. I do not sympathize or empathize with him in the slightest. It's his life, he's a grown man and has to live with his decisions until the day he dies. I just know that living a lie is the most detrimental and painful form of suicide that a person can take part in. Who really needs the prayer here?

So that's that. Onto another member of the gospel community who has gotten press off the subject of homosexuality: Tonex. (The person Donnie calls out during his rousing monologue) I confess to not being able to name a single Tonex song. I've heard of him. I know he's a big deal in the gospel world and i've seen him on the gospel award shows. But I never paid him much attention until i saw his interview with Lexi on YouTube. I didn't even know that he publicly came out of the closet like that in Sepetember of this year. Within nine minutes, I gained more respect for Tonex than I ever had for Donnie McClurkin throughout his entire career. The following paraphrased excerpt is from the interview:

"Yes, I was molested as a young child. My mind was exposed to sexual situations way too early. It could have laid the foundation or planted a seed, but I take full ownership of my sexual exploration... People like to blame molestation for their sexuality. No. Just be honest and say that you're attracted to men. Homosexuality is not a struggle."

*claps & whistles*

You just don't know much it warmed my heart to hear someone separate rape and molestation from being gay. Read this twice: NOT ALL GAY PEOPLE WERE VICTIMIZED AS CHILDREN. Yes, many were. As were many heterosexual people. How do you explain their subsequent straightness? I was never molested as a child. I'm gayer than gay. Therefore, molestation and sexual orientation do not have a cause and effect relationship. Why do people try to force it?

In essence, Tonex was man enough to say- Stop the BS. If you're a man who likes men, be that. If you're a chick who digs chicks, do you. Don't make any excuses to appease those around you or to pacify yourself. Live your life, find a sense of security within yourself, and everything else will fall in line.
Kudos to him for that message. As for Donnie McClurkin, chile boo. Go sit yourself in the corner and re-evaluate your inner being before casting judgment on others. In the classic words of @LuvvieIg (follow her on Twitter, follow me @ChanelSaysSo) - "It's like the pot callin the kettle Ne-Yo"

Here goes the whole being gay v. being black thing again

So if she stood up there and said "Black people shouldn't be allowed to marry" you'd have written the same article
defending her?

The above is a comment posted on CNN commenter Roland Martin's article about Ms. California's anti gay marriage answer at the Miss Usa competition. Roland addresses how people are funny actin and claim that we all want someone to "keep it real and honest" but when Ms. California gave her honest opinion she "gets attacked at every angle for it." Roland proceeds to call Perez Hilton a "drama queen posing as a wannabe journalist who ratchets up unimportant material for publicity."

Wow.

Okay. So now I kinda agree with the whole funny actin people part. Our society is filled with flip-floppy, fickle, hypocritical, gullible people. We claim to want one thing, but can't handle it when we get it. We stand up against one injustice, but feed into others. It's sad but I get it. BUT there's a huge difference in wanting full honesty from a person and not agreeing with the underlying message beneath that honesty. I applaud Ms. California for having the balls to represent a state filled with the most gay people per square inch and still give the answer that she gave. Kudos to YOU Ms. CA cuz honey trust and believe that WE (pointing to all the gay cali folk and straight allies) are evil-eyein you like crazy rite now & i know it makes you uncomfie. So yea, claps & whistles for being brave & honest. But that doesn't stop me from despising her take on the issue.

Now relating it back to that comment in red up above, i really really wish people wouldn't even go there. Roland Martin is a seemingly straight black man in America. Being gay is not an attribute of his. He has never been persecuted for it. He has never struggled with it. This doesn't mean he hates gay people. It does mean that he identifies with being black and does not identify with being gay. Duh. They are two entirely different things. One is sexuality, the other is race. One some people believe is a choice (ridiculous as it sounds), the other is obviously not a choice and can not be dodged or covered up unless you have the $$$ for bleaching treatments. (I don't reccommend) Black people have fought through loads of crap for hundreds of years and will continue to fight through loads of crap for hundreds of years. (No, President Obama & Michelle can't fix it all no matter how much I love them.) Gay people have fought through our own brand of crap for hundreds of yrs and it shows no sign of stopping. It may not be as heavily documented, as easily accessible, or on such a mass level as the degradation of an entire race BUT there's no denying that gay rights have been severely stifled. So each group of people (blacks, gays and Lord help those of us who are black AND gay) has the right to feel angry and passionate about our own causes. So why do some feel the need to mix and mingle them? They have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Im a young, black, liberal lesbian and I believe in many causes across the board. They all mean something to me, they're all worth a fight and all the problems that come along with being young, black, liberal and a lesbian piss me off. I will not push one down for the other. I will not tolerate being persecuted for being gay while fighting against racism. I wont say that the black struggle is the same as the gay struggle. Each one holds its own weight and importance on a social and a personal level and I will give both issues the respect they deserve. Why can't others do the same? What are your thoughts?