tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post8884445511806397167..comments2023-03-04T03:56:50.797-08:00Comments on The Rainbow Room: Un-doing loveChanelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17877058968113836520noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-81144396411286606332012-06-30T17:09:16.148-07:002012-06-30T17:09:16.148-07:00OK so I started typing this thing about how awesom...OK so I started typing this thing about how awesome it is to be poly and maybe responding to a couple of things people have said, but then I realized they'd never see it so I'm just going to respond to you. :)<br /><br />Chanel, I don't think you're a bad friend because monogamy works out best for you. If that were the case, most of the world would be a bad friend. The idea of polyamory is a HUGE paradigm shift, and it really isn't for everyone. Stay true to yourself. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05081968190002324391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-61429596006507842622012-06-30T00:01:13.582-07:002012-06-30T00:01:13.582-07:00All of these comments are so so good, and interest...All of these comments are so so good, and interesting. Hmm. I'm thinkng abt all of it. So much to take in.Chanelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17877058968113836520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-25041065916521833332012-06-29T23:52:47.785-07:002012-06-29T23:52:47.785-07:00Girrrrrl this is a mess. You are right!! a MESS. s...Girrrrrl this is a mess. You are right!! a MESS. smh<br /><br />I was with my gf for almost 7 yrs and we just recently broke up over something like ths. Her and her friend have this relationship that makes me so uncomfrtable and i tried to push that feeling away. Because i loved my girl. Still love her. But that friendship was way too much for me. Being close to your friend is one thing. But when that friendship looks and feels more like an intimate relationship, girl...no.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-42262883213868168112012-06-29T23:42:41.997-07:002012-06-29T23:42:41.997-07:00Well what abt what Toni said? Being in love with y...Well what abt what Toni said? Being in love with your kids? I think thats a very valid feeling. I think it's a different IN LOVE than what u feel for a girlfriend. Its truly unconditional, u know? I dnt think anything compares to that.<br /><br /> Now ive never fell in love with my frends. That seems strange to me. Like. WHat does that look like? When i'm in love, i want to be a certain way with that person. I wanna be cupcaked with them, cuddled up, i wanna kiss on them, write loveletters to them, go on dates with them, have them hold me to sleep. I like being caressed by them and I need to make love to the person im in love with in every way, mentally and physically. I dont feel that way about my friends. So...i dnt think being super close with friends is being in love. Not for me.Terisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-26985685466584592912012-06-29T23:35:14.787-07:002012-06-29T23:35:14.787-07:00THIS is why im single. lol. I guess im not ready f...THIS is why im single. lol. I guess im not ready for a real relationship. Im connected to so many ppl. I am n love with my bestfriends. I need them for everything. They take care of me, i take care of them. I cant ever seem to find a girlfriend mature and ready enough to build a home life with. They all leave me, or i leave them. Maybe im doing something wrong. Maybe cuz im in love wit my friends! lol.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-18073275527179895292012-06-29T23:24:15.817-07:002012-06-29T23:24:15.817-07:00AMEN! Swag Sella is preachin truth. Ppl who dnt kn...AMEN! Swag Sella is preachin truth. Ppl who dnt know how to balance friends and relationships should just stay single. Cuz home is always where priority should be. Too many ppl concerned with whats goin on OUTSIDE the home...and u dnt even have your home life in order. My wife and i are going on 9 yrs. Been thru some shit. But i know i need that woman so i plan on keeping my sanity and my relationship first and foremost. I dnt have time to be in love with more than one person. To me, that is for people who truly want their cake and eat it too. Unsatisfied with wht they have at home, so end up latching on to other women, so called friends. Im not about that life at all.Brandinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-46342373711416329732012-06-29T20:12:12.858-07:002012-06-29T20:12:12.858-07:00The whole falling in love with friends is so new a...The whole falling in love with friends is so new age but also completely misunderstood, I think. It doesn't mean you shape your friendships into partnerships. Your partner is your partner and should be treated as such. Friends are friends, which for ME, are my family, and should be treated as such. I love my fam, chosen or not, with all my heart and wld do anything for them. But i dont wanna have sex with my chosen fam. I dnt involve myself in any inapropriate way with my chosen fam. My closest female friends know exactly where I draw the line because i do not play when it comes to ANYthing that could potentially threaten my girl. Home is my priority. On the flip, my girl understands that my friends are my family which means she trusts me with them because I prove to her that i am to be trusted with them. Danielle can call either of my two closest friends right now and get the utmost respect and treatment frm them. No secrets, no jealousy. And when you r in love with your girl and when you have REAL friends who respect you and your situation...then THATis how things should be.SwagSellanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-75602310004932509912012-06-29T20:04:51.152-07:002012-06-29T20:04:51.152-07:00sigh. Shouldnt have read this. Now i wanna curl up...sigh. Shouldnt have read this. Now i wanna curl up wit a bottle of vodka and a bag of weed. My girl just dumped me over this exact issue. sigh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-82435324282934093202012-06-29T19:27:15.464-07:002012-06-29T19:27:15.464-07:00Why would I want to be with anyone who says they&#...Why would I want to be with anyone who says they're in love with me AND their friends?! Nope. Then u need to go be with your friends. lol. That makes no sense to me. That's why ppl have relationships. To set you apart from others in your life. Why even get into a relationship if you're just gonna be fallin in love with mulitple ppl?? I'm cool on that and I wish my girl WOULD come to me wit some baby i'm kinda in love with my friend. Okay. Then go fuck ya friend, have your friend cook for you, have the babies for you, take care of home for you, commit to you, wash ya clothes, and all of the above.Kandice Mnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-44730006461123615352012-06-29T19:12:19.348-07:002012-06-29T19:12:19.348-07:00No, no, not a free for all. I think enamored is ju...No, no, not a free for all. I think enamored is just...enamored. As in you care immensely for your friends. You like spending time with them, and sometimes you just need to go and be with them. Why else would they be your friends if you're not somewhat enamored? I think the problems occur when people start blurring the lines btween friendship and more than friendship. An ex of mine had a bestfriend who she was extremely close with. They wld sleep in the same bed together, go on friend dates, and were just really close. I didnt care at all because i never ever got a bad feeling abt them. Her friend knew and respected me and my ex never did too much with her. As women, we know. We know when "enamored" crosses boundaries into something else that we need to be concerned about. And when those boundaries are crossed, THAT'S when the drama and complications start.Indigonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-3584096298980462462012-06-29T18:34:56.666-07:002012-06-29T18:34:56.666-07:00Thank u for commenting and reading, Cherlnell!! :)...Thank u for commenting and reading, Cherlnell!! :)Chanelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17877058968113836520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-66826749916590471152012-06-29T18:34:33.932-07:002012-06-29T18:34:33.932-07:00I'm confused too. LOL. Yes, i agree on the fal...I'm confused too. LOL. Yes, i agree on the falling in love with your kids. That's a definite. It's the falling in love with everyone else that is the problem. lol. sigh. hmm. And Indigo, i agree with pretty much your whole comment.But is there a limit on how "enamored" should be okay?? Is it a free for all?Chanelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17877058968113836520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-90882164491748040012012-06-29T18:25:50.732-07:002012-06-29T18:25:50.732-07:00Well i think love is only as complicated as the pp...Well i think love is only as complicated as the ppl doing the loving. If you are in a relationship and both of you are secure;y in love with one another, and committed to a lasting partnership with open communication, then being enamored with friends shouldnt present itself as a problem. BUT there should most definitely be notable differences between the love you have for your partner, and the love you nurture with your friends. I love my friends VERY VERY much. Couldn't live without them and they know that. But my girl has my heart, she IS my heart and my life with her comes before anything because she's the one i'm living with, planning with, making future with, etc.Indigonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-17063375526669468962012-06-29T18:07:53.721-07:002012-06-29T18:07:53.721-07:00Ahhhhh!!!!! I am so confused! U know I believe in ...Ahhhhh!!!!! I am so confused! U know I believe in falling "in love" with your children too, and THAT is perhaps the greatest love of all, besides falling "in love" with yourself. So I can't say that falling "in love" with your partner is not as fluid as many Berkeley-ites say it is. But I also can't get with the other stuff they be sayin. Shrug. Idk. Lol. I've never known so many options of love were out thereEnzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07897119800048149314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-22362775013936978102012-06-29T17:38:16.436-07:002012-06-29T17:38:16.436-07:00I totally agree with you and I don't think tha...I totally agree with you and I don't think that it makes you a bad friend at all. I really enjoyed reading this piece.ablackwomanlivinginpainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795611475378182412noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1436604361793179169.post-4060916389890721752012-06-29T17:37:05.883-07:002012-06-29T17:37:05.883-07:00Hmm. Idk aboout all of that falling in love with f...Hmm. Idk aboout all of that falling in love with friends. That sounds like a cesspool of messy drama to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com